Search me God

So, I can't stop thinking about this verse in Pslam 139: Search me God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. If there is going to be any real change in our lives, this has to be our genuine request to God. Before we are transformed physically, we must be refined and renewed within. On our journey with God, we bring our part which is our utter brokennes and humanity and the Lord brings his redemptive power, his redeeming love and healing grace. It is here in this quiet place of surrender that God mysteriously works in our lives, changing our hearts.
This prayer made me ask God, what's offensive and ugly in my life? What do I do that bums you out? Of course there are a lot of things! But when I think about those offenses that have to do specifically with the struggle I sometimes encounter with rising above poor self-image and unhealthy eating habits, this list comes to mind: idolotry, hatred, envy and selfish ambition (Galatians 5:19-21). Let me break them down:

• idolotry: idolizing the perfect body and women I think have it
• hatred: criticizing the beautiful body God has blessed me with
• envy: admiring beatuy in other women while failing to see the beauty my Creator finds in me, his beloved
• selfish ambition: focusing on me! My body, my food, my weight, blah, blah, blah! Forgetting the abundant life I have been called to in Christ Jesus - a life of JOY, LOVE, FAITH, SERVICE & FRIENDSHIP!

God, help me get my eyes off of me and my life and on to you! I praise you for the life you have given me. For saving me, for healing me and blessing me with your goodness. I choose today to honor you and give you thanks. I chose to open my heart to those around me and pour your life into them. I love you.