The Tightrope of Perfection

Here's a sneak peak at an excerpt from Lesson 5, "An Aisle of Grace" of my book:

As young women today it seems like we’re raised feeling pressured to walk upon a tightrope of perfection. We cling desperately to this tightrope afraid of losing control or not measuring up. We may be able to balance on this tightrope for a while, but eventually we’ll fall and get wounded. The tightrope of perfection is unrealistic and not of God. God wants us to take our gaze away from this high, dangerous place and to call out for Him to rescue us. When we stumble, He will gently pick us up and set our feet firmly upon the path of His grace, love and provision; an aisle of grace that leads to the abundant life He desires for His beloved daughters. In Psalm 18:36 David praises God with gratitude as he acknowledges the grace he offers: “…You broaden the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turn.” (Psalm 18:36 NIV). God does not want us to see us stumble and slip as a result of narrow expectations ourselves or others pressure us to pursue. I pray that you will have the courage to live in the freedom contained in God’s grace.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ….For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35 NIV)

HEAL Workshop @ Westmont College

Dear Anorexia by Melody

Dear Anorexia,
Anorexia, I so vividly remember the intimate time I shared with you. As an outlet for concealing my inadequacies, I embraced to your ways. You became my new best friend, helping me control my life when I could not live up to expectations.

Anorexia, when I did not know how to fit into my own skin anymore, you appeared. Through your eyes, I was convinced “thin” opened the door to success, confidence, intelligence, and happiness as a person. The body I once considered a gift from God you labeled as a tragic flaw, with fat defining my character as weak and shallow and the size of my waist a measurement of identity and purpose. Oh, anorexia…what lies you coaxed me into believing.

Anorexia, you filled my need to be someone, prove something, and take control of the life I deserved to have. You convinced me to starve myself and in return allowed me be thin. However, “thin” came at a high price. For Anorexia, you were never satisfied with my efforts. Each day I strived for control yet each day it slipped one step out of reach. I wish I would have known at our first meeting that I was only headed for disappointment: anger towards beloved family, depression, fear of social situations, missed friendships, sleepless nights, inability to study, and lack of energy to workout. The physical shivering that took over my body at such a low weight represented the cold person I was becoming inside. Anorexia, your world is miserable. You gave me control over my life at the cost of my soul.

Anorexia, you became a person to me. Instead of investing in people, I invested in you. I learned your ways and habits in hopes of becoming your intimate friend. However, as the days passed my body began to scream for a way out. I longed for permission to eat, to be free in my mind - Yet I had no control- no mental or physical strength left to pursue healing. It seemed like too much effort!

Yet anorexia, all the needs I tried to fill in you only find satisfaction in the arms of my heavenly Father. When I was at my weakest, not capable of putting any energy into fighting you, grace appeared. Grace slowly crumbled the tempting situations that fooled me into thinking “I must be more”. Grace allowed me to step back, away from performing, accomplishing, involving myself, seeking, and looking for success, and just REST in the stillness of God’s quiet voice. In my inability to fight for my own livelihood, freedom came. Slowly, one bite at a time I heard – “it’s ok to eat”. I received FREEDOM…VALIDATION to just be. Freedom to separate myself from my accomplishments and my progress as a person and love myself simply for whom God created me to be. I am now NO FRIEND to Anorexia. I am a freed child of God. Praise the Lord!

Beauty Tips by God

I had the privilege of speaking to some junior high girls recently at a Mother-Daughter brunch and one of the topics I talked about was authentic beauty. Beauty that comes from within. I had the girls imagine that if God was giving them some beauty tips this is a little of what he might say:

-Laugh out loud
-Dress yourself in a true understanding of your value and worth in me
-Pray to me
-Drink my living water
-Do not worry
-Wrap yourself in my arms of mercy
-Walk upon the aisle of my grace
-Be slow to speak and quick to listen
-Love me the Lord your God with all your heart
-Open your arms to the poor and extend your hands to the needy
-Love your enemies
-Remain in my love
-Let your spirit sing my praises
-Forgive as you have been forgiven and accept others as you have been accepted
-Feed the hungry
-Clothe the naked
-Have compassion for those in need
-Proclaim my mighty name throughout all the earth

A Note of Encouragement from Jessica

Hello girls,

I just wanted to take a quick moment to share with you how blessed we are by your presence in Wonderfully Made, and to encourage those of you who haven't been able to come lately to set aside some time for fellowship with other fun, silly, goofy, creative, and beautiful girls!

I was lucky today to have an entirely free afternoon, with no homework or meetings or chores or any of the little tasks which usually occupy my weekends. I decided to spend some time with God, and pulled my Bible from my shelf, where it usually collects dust!

I found this verse, which really inspired me to write to you girls:

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." (Ephesians 4:15-16)

I think this verse is awesome for two reasons.
1) It reinforces how special and precious our own bodies are, and how much we vitally need each part (even the parts we might think aren't useful, like our thighs or our butt or the hair that can't be tamed!)
2) It shows us that, as a body in Christ, we need each and every one of you.

I think that I speak for all of the "older" members of Wonderfully Made when I say that it would not be the same without you.

Love,

Jessica Rice
Wonderfully Made, SCU Chapter

Walking Upon the Aisle of God’s Grace

Something amazing happens when we grasp on to the true meaning of God’s grace. We are able to finally walk free in the truth that nothing can separate us from His love. Our performance cannot; our brokenness cannot; our pride cannot.

Basking in this boundless love which is rooted in mercy and grace liberates us from our self-imposed performance-based prisons. The truth is that we can eat all day long or never exercise and God won’t love us any less. Self-love and worldly acceptance is distributed in accordance to how well we abide by man-made rules. And this is a standard we’ll never be able to meet. We’ll always get to the end of the day and upon assessing our performance (what we ate and didn’t eat; how much we exercised, etc.) we’ll see where we didn’t measure up. And because we didn’t measure up we might conclude that we aren’t worthy or able to be loved. Remember that God’s love is not legalistic in nature like the love we often grant ourselves. I pray that you will have the courage to live in the freedom contained in God’s grace.

As you actively apply the aisle of grace to your HEAL Journey remind yourself that it is okay for example if you ate past a five, or didn’t have a chance to enjoy the gift of exercise . You are loved exactly where you are at regardless of your performance and what you have or have not accomplished. God’s love for you is constant and ever present. He does not want you to try and walk upon a tightrope of perfection because he knows you will fall and get hurt. He wants to lift you from the world’s attempt to balance upon perfection and gently put you on the path of his grace, love and provision.

Are you trying to balance upon a tightrope of perfectionism?
How can you accept God’s grace as you travel upon your HEAL Journey?

HEAL: A Shared Journey of Authentic Healing

I just got back from HEAL tonight with the girls. I just feel so blessed to be in the presence of such amazing women who are not afraid to be real with one another. It is clear that the journey we are walking upon is not meant to be done alone! God desires His daughters to be in authentic friendships with other women who spur them on towards His truth. As the five of us lounged upon the big green sofas in a tiny apartment in Isla Vista, we shared our lives and stories with one another. Lives that for many of us once contained so much brokenness and bondage. Lives that were in bondage to legalistic, lifeless living, rigid food rules, poor self-image and distorted thinking. While some of us shared our praises with one another, still others were not afraid to say that God is carrying them through this journey moment by moment and that so much healing has yet to be done. We were reminded of this truth:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. -Phillippians 1:6

Our hope for you is that God will equip you with the courage and God-breathed friendships to step into the light and embark on the journey of lasting, authentic healing.

Please be praying for The HEAL Journey as we finish up our first 6-week study on the HEAL Principles which will enable young women like you all over the country to rise above these things that have for so long kept us down!

Also, if you have a story of healing that you would like to share with us, please email me at wonderfully.made@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you and be a part of what God is doing in your life.